This is kind of a big deal

On Oct. 16, 2007, I wrote on my other blog:

On other fronts, I have decided to stop buying toiletries and use up the two shelves of crap I have. Apparently, they don't have a 12-step program for collectors of shampoo, conditioner, and hand lotion. The current aromatherapy shampoo smells like something between sandalwood and lilac. Pretty sure it smelt (for all my English friends) better 2 years ago when I bought it. There could be nuclear holocaust, but my hair and skin would still be clean and soft.

With an update on my progress on June 16, 2008:

Eight months have passed and I want you, my invisible readers to know, that I have been good to my word. The stock of hair cleansers now stands at:

1 unopened bottle of Garnier Fructis shampoo
1 unopened bottle of Garnier Fructis conditioner
2 unopened bottles of Ultra Swim shampoo
1 unopened jar of Garnier Fructis Fortifying Deep Conditioner
1 unopened jar of Matrix Biolage Conditioning Balm

In the shower and getting used:
1/2 bottle Garnier Fructis shampoo.
Nearly empty bottle of Garnier Fructis daily conditioner
1/3 jar Neurogena Triple Moisture Deep Recovery Hair Mask
Nearly full bottle of Matrix Biolage Shampoo
1/3 bottle Joico K-Pak Reconstruct conditioner
Nearly empty jar of Garnier Fructis Fortifying Deep Conditioner

Yesterday, November 6, 2008, I bought a bottle of shampoo. Not because I'm back oto mainlining shampoo, but because I WAS ALL OUT.

Ok, I haven't used one of the bottles of Ultra Swim Shampoo. That is for getting chlorine out of your hair. I'll save it for swimming. But I had finished all the other shampoos. So what's left? In the shower and getting used: one jar of Matrix Biolage Conditioning Balm and now the Matrix Biolage Hydrotherapie shampoo.

In the cabinet waiting to get into rotation? One bottle of Garnier Fructis daily conditioner. ONE. Just ONE! That's it folks. It took 13 months to clear out the shampoo backlog. As for the hand lotions? Well, that may take more like five years. But I'm working on it. Addressing OC behavior is pretty much one day at a time.

Forget that I just bought a second pair of chacos on Steep and Cheap today.

It's Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack

Ok, just so you know. The OC behavior is back. I'm now spending 4 hours a day reading, re-reading and reading yet again the same articles, blog posts (mine and others), and emails over and over. Twelve weeks of therapy alerted me to the fact that this is a response to stress. Where is the stress coming from? Nothing seems any different to me. Somehow I get a perverse sense of calm from repeating the same action, reading the same words, whatever the hell you call this, over and over again. I hate this.

Yesterday I agreed to meet Bek and Katie for dinner. They were seated in the restaurant and I was still at my house reading my blog. WTF? I lied about already being on the road. I encouraged them to drink some wine.

I'm hella crazy again. I wish that just telling myself to stop worked. I wish that the understanding that nothing is accomplished by doing this was enough to make me stop. It's stupid. It's counter-productive. It's ......aaaaaaaaaaaargh.