More Panty Twisters

Life is linear. You learn as you go. The past two weeks were a treasure trove of life lessons. Here are a few that caught my attention.

  1. There appear to be two types of people: doers and worriers. I am a doer. I get things done. Worriers get nothing done and chap my ass.
  2. Compromise is a foreign concept to most people, who seem to think that conflict resolution occurs when the other guy gives in.
  3. Conflict resolution skills should be taught in nursery school with a refresher course every Monday morning for the rest of your life.
  4. Scientific disagreements should never be taken personally and taking it personally is a sure sign of professional immaturity.
  5. I don't have time to resolve everyone's conflict nor do I have the desire to, and yet, I find myself constantly thrust in that position. Most people don't like my approach to conflict resolution, to which I say, "Tough shit. You involve me in your conflict, you get what I bring."
  6. In any group effort comprised of more than three people, I will get the least desirable job. The least desirable job comes with the most work, the lowest amount of recognition, the highest risk of blame, and the highest probability that you will make the undeserving look competent.
  7. If there is a way for someone to really piss me off, they will exercise it.
  8. I have no respect for people who undermine or misrepresent my work. None whatsoever.
  9. I seem to run into a disproportionate number of assholes.
  10. I like people with foreign gestures. They are fun to watch. I've decided to adopt a few.


  1. Teaching conflict resolution to two 2.5+ year olds who act like siblings is pretty damn draining. Some of the skill we are working on: sharing, trading, asking politely, taking turns, and not chasing, taking, running off with stuff, poking, pushing, hitting, squishing.

  2. Maybe I can try that with 40 year olds.


Please. Feel free to tell my why you think this is my most brilliant post ever.