Squeeky Clean

Meet Squeeky. The most disgusting dog toy on the face of the Earth.

Squeeky holds a special place in our home. He was Jake's first dog toy. When Jake came to live with Nevada and me, Squeeky came with him. Well, Squeeky, a really big tennis ball he won't play with, and a quilt that serves as his dog bed to this day. Jake is big on dog toys and having come from a broken home, being an orphan, and having been homeless street dog for 2 years before we met, relics from Jake's past are something near and dear to him.

Squeeky is his favorite toy. It's his go-to toy when you tell him to go get a toy. If you tell him to go get Squeeky, he finds it out of the thousands of other squeeky toys from which to pick in his dog toy basket.

Squeeky has friends in that basket. There's Sharky. And Octopussy. There's Squeeky Monster. There's the hundreds of plush animals upon which Jake has performed squeekectomies. Squeeking is clearly a big thing in our home. But Squeeky is the King. He's also the grossest possible thing to have to play with.

You see, Squeeky is old. And old plastic dog toys don't fade away, they disintegrate. And Squeeky is falling apart. Once a bright yellow toy with deep red features, and the most awesome rubber pink hair, Squeeky today has sort of melted.

I think maybe it is the unique nature of Jake's dog spit. In any event, Squeeky is only a faint memory of his former self. Even his squeeky elements are ragged.

So today Squeeky got a bath. Now he's Squeeky clean.

He is also sticky. Something about removing the dirt has made Squeeky super sticky. Not sticky in the way that a slobbery dog ball gets sticky, but rather a "I'm leaking carcinogens directly into your dog's bloodstream" sort of sticky. See those bumps? Sticky. They will attract dirt in a way that you can't imagine. Soon, Squeeky will look like he has the measles. I promise, in two weeks I'll take a follow up photo and you can see. It's gross.

Maybe its that elusive stickiness that makes Squeeky so popular.

In any event, I have decided that upon his death, Squeeky will go with Jake into that big dog park in the sky. Or maybe I'll just keep him around to see how long a squeeky toy can actually last.

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